Once upon a time, a little girl answered the question ‘what do you want to do when you grow up?’ with the answer of “An Artist”. Somewhere along the road of life’s great adventure, that little girls voice became lost and she forgot her dreams. The should’s and the musts took over. It’s a story so often untold, but it occurs so often. How many of us grow up in a world where we know what we want, but our influencing circle of parents, friends, special people place their expectations on us and we stop listening to ourselves.
Life has certainly always included being creative, but the artistry became muddied. Since realising my people pleasing ways about 10 months ago I’ve been doing my best to take a moment and think about what I want. It doesn’t always come quickly to me but I’m learning to lean in. More specifically, the past few months of returning to photography and painting have been some of my most favourite in recent years. I love to make, create and paint and I plan on doing this from here on out, as it is who I am at my core. No more doing what others think I should be doing.
How many times have you settled for something because outside influences told you what you should be doing? Or they expected you to do it their way?
Since realising my own journey and making the changes I needed, to live life on my terms, I’ll let you in on a little secret… When you release yourself from that scenario, it’s THE BEST feeling in the world. Definitely feels like there’s glitter back in my life now.
This past week, I left another business that I had successfully run for the past four years next to my creating. I joined that business because I wanted to stop someone annoying me to. When I realized six months in that I wanted to leave, I listened to that same person who didn’t see my value outside of her own paycheck. My creative business grew and I thrived in the balance. When we moved home to Aus and I had to rebuild my creative business again the balance was lost and the nagging began again. Fast forward four years, and finally releasing myself from that environment it’s total freedom. So many in the company can’t understand why I left, but it’s not their life to understand.
It was time.
I was ready.
So while I rebuild, recreate and relearn life, I will endeavour to write a little more, paint a lot more and stand in my own light for the first dam time in my life.